I had to admit, that night’s Instant Pot Experiment wasn’t the prettiest. But serving the concoction of beans, rice and sweet potatoes had been one of those glorious moments when multiple children say with surprise, “hey, this actually tastes good!” The next night at dinner, however, we heard about the conversation as my 2nd and 4th graders ate the leftovers in their lunch.

“What’s that?”

“Looks like puke.”

You may be thinking your kids would be the ones chiming in on the puke comments. And you may be right, at least for the present. It seems that one constant in life is that kids can be picky about their food. But it’s possible for kids (and spouses and anyone else you feed) to adapt and come to appreciate eating a healthier fare. It’s not an easy path but it can be done and is worth every moment.

Two years ago we transitioned to a primarily plant-based diet. It wasn’t easy but now we love it.  Whether you are hoping to make small steps or big strides towards helping your family eat better, here are some things we learned and found worked well along the way.

I don’t believe in forcing kids to eat. But I do believe in setting the example by providing healthy options, and if they dislike those options they can choose to wait until the next meal to eat. They know I won’t be making them another meal if they don’t like what’s served and that   they can’t fill up on whatever they can find in the pantry instead.

Don’t Give Up, Don’t Give Up, Don’t Give Up

We had tears. We had moaning and groaning and wasted food. Even the occasional power struggle I never wanted to have. I had times of sheer brain exhaustion and temporarily lost the desire to cook. 

But we kept trying. I have always had a deep desire to cultivate the best health possible for myself and my family and just kept moving forward. We didn’t transition all at once, and experimented with new recipes while still falling back on old favorites.  Recognizing that I have a lot more influence on my children’s choices now than I do even 5, 10 or 30 years from now helped me stick with it. I envisioned all of us continuing to enjoy great health and an active lifestyle for many years. Over time we began to find recipes we all really enjoyed and missed the old favorites less and less. 

Cultivate a Growth Mindset for Yourself and Your Family

We’ve all said at one time something to the effect, “my kids just won’t eat that” or “my husband just doesn’t like food like this”. While this may have been true in the past, when we hold on to beliefs like this that prevent us from trying, we close the door on positive change. Our elementary school has focused on cultivating “Growth Mindsets” rather “Fixed Mindsets” this year, a concept developed by Carol Dweck at Stanford University. It’s a fascinating concept that can propel us forward in nearly any area of our lives Fixed vs Growth Mindsets are defined as follows: 

Fixed Mindset:

People with a fixed mindset believe that their traits are just givens. They have a certain amount of brains and talent and nothing can change that. If they have a lot, they’re all set, but if they don’t… So people in this mindset worry about their traits and how adequate they are. They have something to prove to themselves and others.

Growth Mindset:

People with a growth mindset, on the other hand, see their qualities as things that can be developed through their dedication and effort. Sure they’re happy if they’re brainy or talented, but that’s just the starting point. They understand that no one has ever accomplished great things—not Mozart, Darwin, or Michael Jordan—without years of passionate practice and learning. and it’s something all of us can benefit from.

Do you see how this applies to our food choices as well? If we believe our families preferences are “just givens”, we may be saying to ourselves, “Maybe other people’s families will eat food like that and that’s nice, but mine won’t so why try?” We have to be okay with not everyone loving every meal and just keep learning along the way. Often my kids will say they don’t like a certain meal, but we remind them that it’s probably different than the last time we had it because I am always trying new things!!

As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

If we take a view like Edison, we recognize that the complaints, the wasted food, the power struggles aren’t failures, they are steps toward success. Not only do our experiments ultimately yield better tasting food, but we also acclimate our family’s taste buds to a new way of eating.  And sometimes they surprise us! Just the other night I put Quinoa-stuffed Acorn Squash on the table and thought sure it was going to be a rough night at the dinner table. I didn’t love it, but it turned out that most of my family actually really liked it.

We all have unique challenges, including teenagers or adults who may have the option of running to Wendy’s when they aren’t a fan of dinner. But as we approach those challenges with a determination to find what works, we will eventually experience success.

Educate, Educate, Educate

I believe that if we are really understood the impact our food and health choices have on our bodies it would be easy to choose the healthier options. Learn all you can. My free 5 day email Crash Course on plant-based eating can help you get started, even if you’re just looking to eat more vegetables and not necessarily ready to eat 100% plant-based. The more we know, the easier it becomes to answer questions and mention the health benefits of mushrooms or garlic as you serve them with dinner.  Leave a magazine article open, bring up in dinner conversation. The more you know, the more you can share with your family about the benefits of healthy choices.

Be Flexible

In the beginning my kids were devastated that some of their favorite foods were no longer making regular appearances.  We agreed to have some mac and cheese or other old favorite on the weekends. It was a nice break for me to put them in charge of a meal and it really helped with their mental transition. While there are people out there who can make the complete change overnight and that works for them, I think that many of us, particularly with family members who aren’t totally on board, benefit from having some time. For myself I prefer to eat as healthy as possible at home, and then have the option to eat whatever I want when I’m away from home. Over time though, the less healthy options tend to lose their appeal.  

Change Your Ratios

Before we made this transition, I was the lone salad eater. Everyone else would have an obligatory small-as-possible serving and groan while eating. As we transitioned, I began serving salads with real bacon bits on top. It was probably the equivalent of one slice of bacon for all of us, but the boys were super excited about and started to realize salad isn’t that bad. They still refuse to try any of my dressings (apparently they haven’t forgotten a failed version from long ago) and they try to eat all the greens at once, but they eat a decent amount of salad and love my Superfood Kale Quinoa Salad. 

Sometimes we have spaghetti sauce with lots of veggies and a very small amount of meat or totally plant-based meals with a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese. Again it can be a mindset thing–so many of us don’t feel like it’s a meal without meat and dairy. But I say when it’s really hard, it works well to still have the foods, just change the plant to animal ratio.  We gradually used up what we had in the house and bought it less often. When the old favorites were not an option it made it easier to eat what was there.

Taste Buds and Quotas

It’s important to recognize the very real fact that our taste buds become accustomed to what we eat regularly. So if we are eating a lot of processed food and animal products, whole plant foods may not taste exactly normal to us. Taste buds adjust though, so with time we can come to enjoy more fully the natural, nutrient-dense foods in their best form.

We helped our kids adjust their taste buds by imposing quotas. Given the ages and personalities of our kids, we had great success with it with everyone about 4 and up. It just gets ugly when we try it with our two-year-old so we’ll save it for later when he understands a little more. This probably goes against plenty of parenting manuals but it has been a game-changer for us. Just a few examples:

• Smoothie First! Drink your smoothie before you have your oatmeal for breakfast (this one is no longer necessary, but we no longer find untouched smoothies that were mysteriously forgotten).
• Four Carrots. I found that afternoon snacks tend to be most satisfying when there is a combo of fruit/veggie and other more-appealing snack such as popcorn, energy balls, etc. So when I am on top of things (and snacks are probably my most-challenging “meal”) everyone needs to eat 4 baby carrots, a few apples, celery or whatever before they can have their popcorn, trail mix, granola, chips (yes, I still buy healthier versions of tortilla/multi-grain chips a fair amount. Not topping any nutrient density charts but they go so well with so many other healthy options that we still consume quite a few.)
• Dinner Courses. We often start with whatever we know to be the least desirable part of dinner – whether it’s the salad or the main dish, if we serve smallish portions in order of least desirable to most desirable and it helps everyone to get it done.

Progress, Not Perfection

I don’t want to paint the picture that we are perfect–we still have meal challenges on a regular basis. My two-year-old refuses to eat plenty of things and my older kids still love any chance they get to have junk food.  But when I pause to look at the progress we’ve made I am amazed to see just how far we have come.

Most importantly, my kids are starting to gain an appreciation for the importance of healthy eating. They know healthy eating isn’t going away at our house, and they recognize times when they’ve overdone it on the treats and are left feeling sick.

It was was a mom payday to hear that my son responded to his friends’ puke comments with,

“So? It’s healthy.”